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    March 21

    Wanna SCREAM!!!!!

    Gosh! I'm glad the exam is over!
    I've been spending time the way i want to.
    Just a couple minutes ago that I heard 
    I got an F on PHYSICS!!!
    I feel like the whole world is colliding!
     
    I'm about to go to the meditation camp
    where my mom wanted me to go so terribly.
    I'm thinking about taking the class the next semester.
    So that I don't have to do it (yet) during this summer
    and instead go to the meditation camp.
     
     
    WISH ME LUCK!!!
    March 08

    I'm dying!! And if the exam is not over very soon I will surely do!!!!
    I want my LIFE back!! And I don't want to look like a PANDA anymore!!!
     
     
    There are some pics from the cheerleading thing...
     
     
     
     
    February 20

    Happy Chinese New Year!!

    Happy Chinese New Year!!

    Wishing y’all the best of everything!

    Hope everyone got lots of อั่งเปา

    Just to let you know that you’re more than welcome to share it with me. 555+

     

    After the cheerleading thingy I headed straight to my grandparents’ at Ratchaburi to get “them”.
    We went to 6 temples this year from Ratchaburi to Prachuapkhirikhan.
    It’s a very happy Chinese New Year because I got to sleep a lot, receive a lot, and give a lot!
    And that’s good!
    February 16

    The Wildest Valentine Ever!!!

    I remembered my wildest Valentine back in the US 3 years ago.

    Alyssa and I were watching Titanic (crying our eyes out) followed by KARMA SUTRA…

    (Hmmm…Yes…H-A-N-D-S!!)

     

    This year I woke up early to make RICE KRISPIES SPECIAL as a Valentine gift to my friends.

    Everybody seemed to like it very much! Thanks to Lisa to have taught me to make them.

     

    I got a sweet surprise from my code senior!!

    He called me on the 12th and asked if I was free to see him on the 14th.

    I thought he might have brought me some books (He’s a genius!) or had a favor to ask.

    But he showed up with a very beautiful pink rose saying “Happy Valentine’s Day”. It’s very sweet of him.

     

    Since I haven’t seen an existence of Mr.Rightman beside me,

    I went Partying with my friends at Ice Bar, Thonglor.

    We drank and danced all night long having soooo muchhh funnn!!!!

    The guys that came with my friends were very nice and funny,

    one was a lead singer of a famous band, one has got a very handsome SLK and others were quite good-looking.

    Well, they paid for EVERYTHING!

     

    After that I went to see my crush where he’s “partying” to bring him a Valentine gift I made myself.

    When I reached there I realized it was no normal “party” and that’s what made my Valentine so wild.

    “If you know what I mean”

    Sadly, my crush didn’t seem to care much about me.

    He had his friend taking care of me while he was wandering around and got “drunk”!

     

    A friend of his seemed to like me. He’s a very sweet guy.

    We danced and stayed with each other for the rest of the night.

    Although I was quite drunk then, I remembered I agreed to be his girlfriend.

    We even talked about going abroad to study together, marrying after we graduate, and having children!!!

    LMAO!!! How hilarious! Now I realized I didn’t even have that guy’s number!!!WTH!!!

    While these things happened, I didn’t know where the heck my crush was.

    DIDN’T HE SUPPOSE TO BE LOOKING AFTER ME SINCE HE HAD INVITED ME THERE??

    Thinking about that now, I really wanna kick him right at his !!!!!EEeerrrggghh!

     

    It was 6am. when I finally got my ass out of there, so glad that nuttin bad had happened to me.

    My crush(from hell) only said “see you later” and didn’t even get his freakin’ ass up to walk me to my car.

    I drove back to the dorm drunk and half-asleep. I reached here around 7.30am. safely.

    Showered and went to bed. I woke up around 5pm.

    and went to cheerleading practice for this Saturday Competition.

    February 12

    Summer Universiade 2007 Orientation

    Have you ever heard of Universiade? Well, FYI, it is an international sporting and

     

    cultural festival which is staged every two years in a different city.

     

    The coming Summer Universiade 2007 will be held in Bangkok Thailand;

     

    from August 8-18.

     

    I applied for the volunteer (as an interpreter) and I got in!!!!

     

    The orientation was last Sunday at Indoor Stadium Huamark.

     

    There were 7000 volunteers from 30 universities all over the country.

     

     

    ** See Website http://www.bangkok2007.com/en/main/index2.php **

     

     

    The Mascot is so cute!! His name is Mitri Mitri.

    February 09

    Models Night at Bed Supper Club

    So, last night I went to Models Night at Bed Supper Club at Sukhumvit Soi 11.
     
    It was so crowded, many models were there. They all dressed stunningly and uniquely.
     
    They were soooooo tall that I felt like a pigmy...LOL!!
     
    I remembered seeing some of them at Bangkok Fashion Week, Central World Plaza.
     
    Also a guy that must have shooted for men underwear in a magazine?!? My sexy sister got a chance to dance with one of them.
     
    But no not me . Well, I was chatting with a cute bartender who was wearing a white T-Shirt screening
     
    " I'M NOT TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU"
     
    That's quite funny!!!
     
    I was in my English class at 9.30am. today though!!
     
    And we actually had cheerleading Practice this evening but everybody skipped except me and another guy friend.
     
    Oh gosh! Do I really have to deal with 'the old situation' again? It's so hard to encourage those people!!
     
    What is the definition of being a team anyway!!!!!!!
     
     
     
     
    February 07

    Byenior

    Tonight, we had byenior for 4th year TEPE students. (TEPE>>Thammasat English Program of Engineering)
     
    We went to Waterside Pub&Restaurant around Kaset-Nawamin Road.
     
    The atmosphere was really nice and the food was great! There were also cool karaoke rooms.
     
    So after dinner, some of my friends and I went to karaoke. And after we're done with karaoke, we went to WE-ZA, a club on Ekamai Road.
     
    Lots of our seniors were there. We drank and danced... had so much fun!!
     
    Well, but the party is over and I have Linear Algebra tomorrow at 9.00am! Physics Laboratory at 1.30pm.! 
     
    Staff Meeting at 5pm.! Also cheerleading practice once again 6pm.!
     
    Wish I'll survive! Pray for me!!!
    February 06

    It has been more than a year that I haven’t written anything at all.

    Life can be incredibly busy after all. LOL!

     … So this is what has happened to me!!!!!

     

     COLLEGE LIFE

    I chose to study at faculty of engineering, Thammasat University.

    The most well-known university in Thailand for liberty and rights. SO PROUD OF IT!!!

    I must accept that I’m not expert at it at all. It’s very tough and I suck at Physics! LOL!

    Without my loving friends and cheerleading I would have been so lifeless!

    My friends are really nice; they help me with all the lessons and we get along so well that we laugh like crazy people

    every time we are together.

    During cheerleading season, we had practice for 4 to 6 hours everyday.

    Though I ate a lot, I lost weight like 4 or 5 kg.

    However, when it’s all passed I start eating even harder and of course, get BIGGER!!!

    My roommate and I have been friends since 7th grade. She’s an only child. We’ve got totally different style. She studies liberal arts,

    having opposite class schedule. I woke up she already went to class. I came back and she’s already asleep. We talked by notepads…

    The thing is the notepads start covering all the space on the wall!!!

    However, we are still close friends. And our parents can never tell the different between our voices.

    February 05

    LOVE LIFE

    A messed up life I’d say.

    Not that I didn’t have anyone, but the ones I had always came with extraordinary problems.

    I’ll brief it up!!!

     

    First Sad Story
    One time I was in a serious relationship with someone I met at the fitness. He was not good-looking or anything but he was so caring and romantic. Everything was all great but the fact that he already had a girlfriend and they lived together! Back then crying was my routine and pillow was my only friend. It took me until now to get over it…
     
    Second poor story
    When I finally had a very nice boyfriend of my own. All I felt was that I like him very much.
    He was born German-Polish-Albanian-Thai. He’s got a very pretty name.
    He cared for me a lot. He was the coolest and most talented artist I’ve ever known!
    Everyday, I’ll receive a sweet special rap sms especially for me. But I couldn’t love him so I started treating him really badly… The last news I heard about him was, his album is coming out this February and that he went back to his ex-girlfriend.
     
     Third almost happy but not Story
    So my friend introduced me to one of her sister’s friend (Anne) two days before Christmas. After chatting for 10 minutes, he decided to come see me at my dorm which is 40 mins away that night! I’ve never seen a guy like that! He was funny, really! More than that, he’s very good-looking and has got a hot body! He’s my most gorgeous Christmas present!!!
    Unfortunately, right before my birthday, I went to his guy friend’s restaurant and hung out there without thinking of the consequences. He didn’t call me on my birthday and I thought he’s forgotten! But thing was more than it seemed; Anne called me and told me what she’d heard. Oh my god! I couldn’t believe how his guy friend’s told him the story!
    I learned that woman is not the only sex who talks bad and gossip!!  And he believed his friend more than me.
     
    Fourth Idiot Story
    And I met this other guy at Santa Fe Steak House. I very much dislike him! Why?
    He asked for my# by saying “Would you please give me your#, hurry, my aunt is coming!”
    I made a huge mistake giving my#! He missed called me to have me call him back!
    And he said “Sorry, my cell ran out of money. Would you call me again tonight as well?”
    I didn’t call so he had to recharge his account and called me. I was going out partying that night with my sister, he said, “I would like to go with you. Please please please come to pick me up!” Since it was on the way, I stupidly picked him up… At the club, I had to pay for his drinks because he didn’t have enough money!!!!!! My sister and I planned to go to another club as well but it would have to pay for the fee which is quite a lot. We didn’t want him to come with us because I knew I’d have to pay for his fee!! So we did a little drama… But still, I had to give him some money for the taxi!!!!! Enough for this guy!!!!!

     

    Pics of the second story... We were very happy then...another one is the grafity he drew for me

    About my House

    No, it’s not done yet!!!

     

    About me driving a car!

    I should get the ‘hit award’ of the year!!! LOL!!! I’m getting better though. Really!

    October 13

    Colorsport's Day VS Cheerleading Practises

    :::**::: Cheerleading Practises :::**:::

    So, I’m a cheerleader in the Orange group for the coming “Color sport’s Day” so far...the practises were not that bad. It gave me loads of exercise and just made my chest, my hip, and my thighs screamed! I couldn’t walk right for the whole week.

    Going to the fitness was very helpful ‘cuz I wouldn’t be able to move if I haven’t done a number of exercises. The practises were certainly tiring!

    There are 14 of us, all girls. Good for us that the teachers didn’t allow us to do any kind of stunts due to a big news in Thailand about a cheerleader girl accidentally fell while doing stunt during a practise and was paralytic just like the sleeping beauty.

    We had some problems with a couple of girls in our team because they always complaint about the motions and wouldn’t pay attention when we tried to teach them. How unenergetic they were! UuRRrgghH!!!

    The choreographers were very nice (& very good-looking) though. All of us felt sorry that they were not ‘straight’.

     

    **A little details on Colorsport’s Day (8-9th December 2005)**

            It’s very familiar to all Thai students because we have this festival annually in every Thai schools. It’s a festival of sport competitions. The students in the school are divided into groups named after certain colors. In my school, over 2,500 students are divided into 5 groups of colors which are Green, Orange, Purple, Red, and Yellow. I and my classmates are in Orange group(team). We’ll have sport competitions between the groups, including Cheerleading, Parade, Football(Soccer), Footsaw, Chairball, Valleyball, Running, Table Tennis, Badminton, Swimming, etc. Around November and December is the season of Colorsport’s Day. Very busy season for the Juniors and Seniors in high school it is!!!
     
     
     Pictures from Colorsport's Day 2004 at my school.
    October 02

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY

     
    September 30th was a very special day because it was a birthday of my luving Mom-best friend-Baba (LGMC), a person whom I know for sure that I’ll always love and care about unconditionally. She’s my inspiration and moral support. If she ever get a chance to read this, I want her to know that I miss her and always think of her. I wish I could say this to her in person but distance keeps us apart. However, I wish her the best of everything, and Happy Birthday!!!
     
     
     

    <<Math Camp 2005>>

    It was from September 28-30th 2005 at Sramanow Resort in Nakhon Nayok. This Math Camp was more like Scout Camp, let me tell you about it.

    We arrived at the resort; it was quite uncivilized. The room was not that impressive but not too bad. The teacher brought us to Wangtrakrai Falls. We swam and played in the water! It was fun. Then we were back at the resort to change clothes and out doing activities again. We got to let ourselves out of the cliff and did bike rally. It was very exciting and challenging. We had to climb up to the cliff and I remembered when I looked down I felt a little shiver up my spine. The scenery was so beautiful though when you looked around at the top of the cliff. And when you bike you could see endless fresh-green rice fields and shady trees. Lovely! We had dinner at a restaurant in front of the resort called Krua Manow. It’s the best! I and my friends secretly ordered things we wanted to eat, and everything was so delicious. My group surprised the teachers by ordering them a big dish and singing happy birthday to the math camp at the same time. After we were back at the resort, I and my friends opened a couple bottles of Vodka Cruiser and played cards.

          Second day, we went downstream through the rapids in the rubber boat. Then did flying fox, canoeing, etc. I felt dirty all day (again). I showered and went to have dinner at the same place. We ordered different things from yesterday and they were all delicious (again!). The teacher said it would be party that night. The restaurant found live band to play for us. They were nice but the music that they played was not our types at all, so noone got up to dance and most ended up sleeping on the tables! I deeply felt sorry for them because they tried changing so many music to impress us. When we got back to the resort, I and my friends had our own party. We drank all whisky, Vodka, and Bacardi that we brought with us and turned on nice music!

          Last day, we had the best lunch! Luscious grilled-chicken with tasty sauces, yummy sour relish with sliced papaya, savoury spiced minced chicken with vegetable, and sticky rice. Then we went to military school to do some fun activities. I did shooting. I scored pretty bad at a revolver (64/100) but pretty nice at a rifle (97/100). I played paint ball with my friends. It was my first time. I got hurt a little bit! I went canoeing again with Zaida but it was raining! We visited Lieutenant Museum too. It was classic! I enjoyed it very much today!

     

     

    P.S. I had a lot of photos this time, but I will update it later! Soon, I promised!

    Class and Final Exam

    I have skipped lots of classes to do AROKA THE MUSICAL so I had to complete so many unfinished works before the Final Exam. It was so tiring. The Final Exam was on 19, 21, 23 of September. The scores were alright… At least neither I fail Physics nor P.E. !

    Fitness First

    **Fitne$$ fiR$T**

    I have been a member of Fitness First for a month now. Its incredible, but I do find it fun to exercise . This is a good sign of losing weight! LOL! Perhaps one of the reason I like going to Fitness is there are guys with yummy muscles. And there, you can have Personal Trainer in affordable price! I dont have a PT but I made friend with some of them and they were very sweet to give me some lessons. I enjoy Body Jam Class and Body Combat class a lot. Body Jam is an addictive melting pot of dance and aerobic moves blended with sounds of hip-hop, funk, and Latin American music. Body Combat is based on a variety of martial arts such as Boxing, Karate, and Tae Kwon Do. The teachers are funny and entertaining. My goals are to get in shape and lose some weight for cheerleading in this coming December.

    2X CAST PARTY! Sep 3rd & Sep 9th

    * 1st CAst Party

    It was right after we finished the play. There were only juniors and seniors crews. Over 20 of us headed to Brite’s house. I was in Bank’s pickup truck together with 10 of our friends. When we reached to a narrow alley in Brite’s Village, Bank accidentally hit another pickup truck that parked in the way. It was just a slight but a guy came out and tried to have us pay 2500$. So Bank had to call his dad and the insurance company. Bank was very upset; he told us to walk to Brite’s house and he would wait for his father. We insisted to stay with him but finally we had to leave. All we did at Brite’s house was drinking and chatting but it was a great time. I felt a little tipsy after a couple bottles of Vodka Cruiser and Bacardi Breezer. We decided to go to F’s house, so I called my mom and tell her that I would have to spend the night at one of my friends’. Tim was taking good care of me, he put me in bed as soon as we arrived at F’s. I remembered he watched me until I was asleep. When I woke up there were like 5 people sleeping beside me. They were a little drunk. LOL!. I walked out the room to join my friends but everyone kept asking me if I knew where Suda was. Suda is my classmate and we are quite close. I noticed a sign of problem. F’s girlfriend told me that Suda and F had been out buying whisky for a long time but haven’t come back. F was well-known for his playboy habit. I was worried and suddenly they came back. F and his girlfriend had a fight. I pulled Suda into the bathroom and asked her if something happened. Oh god! F was a real asshole! He tried to hook up with my friend but fortunately she was smart enough to get out of that situation. She felt bad and drank more whisky. I took her to the bathroom; she threw up and I cleaned her with towel. She was very drunk. She couldn’t stop screaming out her crush’s name even when I brought her to sleep, she woke up 10 people in that room, 2 of them tried to kick her. I was sitting there, laughing…well, it was funny! As a result, Suda has got a new name…embarrassing one..LOL! Now all the seniors call her that! That night I went back to bed. I had my secret admirer’s left arm as my pillow. SWEET!

    I went back home safely and happily the next day.

     

    ** 2nd Cast Party  

    There were the whole crews at the Buffet. It was so much fun! After the Buffet, some of us went to Brite’s house. I brought 2 bottles of Wine this time. We were drinking and playing cards. That night our director was drunk and was being a little boy. He was very funny!!  There were some guys there who were not involved with the play. One of them dared me to drink ¼ bottle of Wine. The wine was very strong, I knew that, but I drank it anyway. He thought I was drunk and tried to claim me. He asked me for the seventh time if he could send me home because he worried eventhough I already told him that my FATHER would pick me up! Tim was whispering me the whole time.. “NEVER let that guy send you home”.. Then the guy tried to kiss me, I was freaked out!! I think Tim noticed so he asked if I wanted to go to toilet. Ofcorse, I said YES! Tim, Yui ,and Zaida took me to the toilet. They said if I didn’t want to come to the toilet they would just pull me out of there. Thanks Buddha, god, and Allah I have good friends!

    ***>>*AROKA THE MUSICAL*<<***

    Okay!! This is what mostly took me away from updating my blog for 3 months!!
     
     
    It's a super long story!!!
    Let me begin this way, about 4 months ago our drama club president(NUT) had an idea of redoing a musical play called "AROKA" that he had done in his class to get a credit from Thai Subject. This time he wanted to perfect it by having live band, talented performers who could act and sing, fully equipped sound, lights, and effects. So he talked to some people and that was how it happened.
    <AROKA was actually performed by famous Thai superstars in year 2000 under GMM Grammy Co.,Ltd copyright.>
    One day on my vacation in US I recieved an email from the club PR(my close friend,PUI) telling about how the decission was made. I opposed at first because I thought that if we were going to have the first play from N.T.U.N. Drama Club came out, it should be something ORIGINAL that we didn't have to ask for a copyright! However, it was a unanimous vote. So I thought "O'well, at least we got to do something".
    The new semester began. I came back to Thailand and went to school as normal. I talked to NUT and he successfully talked me into this musical. I was then very excited and enthusiastic about the play and a new duty as a co-director. When I had just come back from the  US last year NUT had casted me to be a lead actress in a play called "Mueng Maya the Series the non-soap opera Chapter"; the play was successful and recieved good responses from the audiences. He offered me a duty this time to take care of all the performers and making sure that they approach profoundly to their parts. I also helped my friend, Zaida, as a coordinator officer. I remembered driving around Bangkok together with NUT and some of our friends to find sponsors. Once, Vicky was a driver and all of us were praying for lives to see another dawn. LOL! On the day of the performance, I had duty as a stage manager. Then I completely understnad how hard it was to keep everyone from making noises. Seriously! it was very CUKOO back stage
    The play was performed at Nawamintrachinuthit Triamudomsuksanomklao School in the Auditorium on Saturday, September 3rd From 11.30 - 14.00 and 15.00-17.30. It was a great success. 750 seats were sold (out of 800 seats). The audiences gave us big hands and nice shouts! BRAVO to all of US!! AROKA THE MUSICAL was a very hard piece of work, a challenging one. It couldn't happen without the cooperation of several departments. Everyone devoted so much. I believe doing this play was an unforgettable and amazing experience for lots of peopleWeve known many new friends and juniors besides creating attachments and unity. Weve learned new kinds of works and gained more skills. I felt so proud to be a part of this success. It definitely will be a wonderful memory in my high school life
    I'm deeply grateful for everyone who has worked so hard, who has been my inspiration, my moral supports, and my friends. THANKS A LOT!!!!
     
     
    P.S.  Pictures will be updated later, as soon as my friends burn me CDs. 
    September 26

    Japanese Cultural Exchange! July 29-31

    This is one of the sweetest thing that has happened! I'd love to host a Japanese exchange student but my new house would never be done! Fortunately,  my friends hosted japanese students and I got to join them for all the fun
     
    This exchange program was arranged between my school and Sapporo Sacred Heart School in Japan annually. According to the program, the japanese students come to Thailand to learn about Thai cultures and visiting fascinating places for a week but only do home-stay with host family for 3 days. Vicky hosted Rueko, a sweet japanese girl the same age as us (17). She's sooooo cute! We just got along so well with many reasons. First night after having dinner, Vicky drove us into the city and showed Rueko how colorful it was. We showed her Clubs, well-known Streets, Train Station, etc. We also drove across Pin Klao Bridge above Chao Phraya River; it's got such a beautiful scenery. Next day, Vicky took Rueko to Royal Temple of the Emerald Buddha and showed her around in the city again...I couldn't go with them then because I had class but I catched up with them later at Siam Square to take some pictures and did some shopping. I met a big groups of friends and their japanese host sisters at Pizza Hut and we went to U-Smile (photo studio) after finish eating. We had a blast taking pictures. It was so funny! (I feel so sad that I had lost that photo CD, I'll try to find it and upload some pictures!) After that I met up with Vicky and Rueko and Kung at another photo Studio. That night we took Rueko to karaoke at MBK and shopping at Suan-Lum Night Bazaar, I bought her something to remind her about me and Thailand. We also gave Rueko a name in Thai, her name was Pim meaning sweet lady. The last day with Pim was full of sadness. Eventhough it was just a very short time, we had such a wonderful time together, always laugh like crazy. When we send her back to the Japanese Center, we were crying and crying and crying.  It was really hard to say goodbye to her! Next 2 days, I went to see Pim off at the airport, Vicky couldn't make it because she was sick. I was smiling to her but then tears started filling her eyes and finally came outI couldn't hold it any longer...so we were huging and crying&. same as people around us... I know that none of us will forget about them... We definitely go to visit them in the future!
     
    P.S. Pim, if you're reading... I really miss you!!!!! Lots of Love + Hugs and Kisses xoxoxox

    Thai Field Trip in July

    It's like the first field trip since I and my friends have been Seniors this semester. Actually we all went to this field trip for 10 points in Thai class. We went to Chonburi to visit hotorical museum, zoo, and pattaya beach. It seemed to be boring to many people and to me at first... until there was a lil' flirting goin' on between me and my classmate.  If you were in the field trip you'd know who he was. I must accept that I found him attractive, maybe because of his tan skin and athletic physical constitution...and very nice rear too! Okay, now I went to far!!!! LOL. Most of us couldn't stand the atmosphere on the bus, so we decided to turn on hip-hop musics and danced along. Actually, I should say that Vicky was "dancing" and I was "dancing" with "her".  Don't get us wrong, I and Vicky didn't try to Americanize our classmates..we just did what we used to...and it was very funny how our guy classmates staring at us and took loads of pictures! hehehe good time!!

    Hey!!! I'm BACK!!

    I KNOW THAT IT'S BEEN ABOUT 3 MONTHS THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED MY BLOG AT ALL.
    It's beyond words to explain how glad I've got time for myself once again (eventhough it's just for a week or less). Lotssssss have been going on in 3 months! I've been doing so much (maybe too much) school activities. Look back from now, I actually could kill myself LOL! Let me start with AYC04 Thai Exchange Student Orientation Camp at Rayong  in the late of June. I went to the camp as a returnee. I got to exchange my experiences in the United States with my friends and the juniors. There were like 110 kids at the camp; all were unique, very creative ,and talented. They spoke pretty good English. There're so many reasons that made it a lot of fun; First, I got to see the AYC03 students again...I missed them so much! Second, I got to meet new people that were really delightful. I loved telling them my story as they loved asking me lots of "things", such as "How was Prom?" "Do they have sanitary napkin there or they just have tampons? Do I have to bring it there?" "Did you have boyfriend there?" "Did you have lots of friends?" "How  was all the classes?" etc. I remembered I used to wonder about those things too. Now I think those are all funny things to ask. I told my juniors everything that they would need to know and be "prepared" for. I hope that they will enjoy their Academic Year in the US just like I did so much!
     
    P.S. Sadly I didn't even have time to take pictures of myself with everyone! I just have a couple of pics that one of my friend sent to me...